


My Boy (Twin Fantasy)

by nothingweird



Category: DDT Pro-Wrestling, Professional Wrestling, 新日本プロレス | New Japan Pro-Wrestling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-10-02 18:15:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20445437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothingweird/pseuds/nothingweird
Summary: Kenny decides to be brave and ask Kota out over the phone.  Or Kenny has been and always will be proudly queer, and also he really wants to kiss Ibushi Kota.Sounds in the night: tired sighs through a broken phone.In your light, in your life, I will never feel alone.All I say, all I do is for you.Only you, only you, only you.-(O) Only You by Painted Zeros





	My Boy (Twin Fantasy)

**Author's Note:**

> idk, I’m shaking off the cobwebs in the corner of my brain devoted to creative writing, it’s been so long, and I wanted to write this scene inspired by (aka completely taken from) a scene from the movie Holding the Man. I have a lot of feelings and wanted to explore the way Kenny projects confidence about his queerness, and my feelings about representation of being defiantly, rebelliously, and openly queer. So I wrote this thing for me, but also thought I'd post it.
> 
> I just ignored the language barrier, *shrug emoji,* also they probably both would be using cell phones instead of landlines but…I do what I want. Title taking from a Car Seat Headrest song.

Kenny was going to call Kota and ask him out. He had to. The mere idea of either of them dating someone else had sent Kenny into such a frenzy that it was clear that this crush wasn’t going to just go away. Which seemed inconvenient since Kota was one of the few friends Kenny had in Japan and he didn’t want to jeopardize that friendship after he just uprooted his whole life across the globe. The bigger problem though, he thought as he stared at the phone sitting on its receiver in his dorm room, was that he was deeply afraid of Kota rejecting him. This fear was admittedly a novel feeling for Kenny regarding the asking people out department, and he didn’t really know what to do with it. However, Dino’s words from earlier that day echoed in his head, and the possibility that he might finally get to kiss Kota if he just _fucking asked_ nagged at him, and maybe, finally, that feeling would win out over the fear.

Kenny and Kota had been taking a break for a few minutes during practice earlier that day, using the time to catch their breath and provide some advice for Dino and Michael as they practiced. Kota was standing in the corner of the ring right in front of Kenny, with Kenny’s feet perched on the bottom rope on the outside of the ring. His arms were wrapped around Kota’s shoulders, which allowed him to lean forward and press his stomach flush up against Kota’s back. Their friendship was like that from day one, overtly physical both in and out of the ring. Kenny wasn’t sure who started it, but he really didn’t do that with other guys he wrestled with, so it felt special that Kota both permitted and often initiated this type of intimacy. He relished every second they spent linked together in any way, and with every hug and moment they spent pressed together like this, Kenny felt a gnawing hunger for more of it only growing larger.

“You two seem to be getting along. I thought you were dating Michael, Kenny,” Dino spoke up in in a lull during his bout with Michael, referencing an inane joke he had made a few days ago.

“I’m feeling oh so neglected!” Michael added.

“See, he’s absolutely heartbroken!” Dino said.

“Alright, Kota, we’re over!” Kenny said jovially, forcing out the words, but not moving to let go of him.

Kota gave a small laugh; Kenny wasn’t sure if it was wishful thinking or if Kota actually sounded as shaky and unsure as he felt about what Kenny had just said, regardless of the fact that Dino and Michael were very much just joking.

Kenny normally didn’t mind the guys goofing around like this, but it struck a chord with him. Kenny and Kota weren’t over—they hadn’t had a chance to begin yet, and the mere thought of them being over seemed to have sparked some reserve of bravery within Kenny, prompting him to finally make this phone call.

Kenny lifted the phone off the receiver—he put it back down, second guessing himself. He wanted to date Kota so badly; he’d never felt so much ease around another person, as if the general terror of being seen and judged by another person just melted away to contentedness when he was alone with Kota. He could almost imagine the ghost of Kota’s hand in his own, and in his mind the image of their bodies wrapped around each other in a violent embrace in the ring transmogrified into a gentle embrace on Kenny’s bed. The desire for that to become reality allowed Kenny to dare himself to finally make the call, so he picked up the phone again and dialed Kota’s number, in a rapid succession of motions, before he could manage to doubt himself again.

Kenny held his breath as the phone rang.

“Hello,” the voice of a stern sounding older man answered.

“Uh, hi,” Kenny sputtered trying to regather his bearings, “Is Kota there? This is one of his friends from…work.”

“One moment.”

It sounded like the man held the phone away from his face and yelled across the apartment, “Phone! Be quick about it, we have a dinner reservation that we can’t miss!”

“I’ll take it from my room,” he heard Kota’s voice in the distance before he heard a click indicating that one of the lines had been hung up.

Kenny marveled at how ridiculous it was that Kota had two home phones in his one-bedroom apartment.

“Hello,” Kota said, directed at Kenny.

“Uh hi. I can call you later if you need to go,” Kenny said as he absentmindedly played with the phone cord, and noticed that his hands were straight up shaking. He was grateful that the outdated dorms still had cords on the phones, so that he could try to anchor himself.

“It’s fine,” Kota paused for a beat, “My parents are visiting. We’re going out for sushi.”

“That sounds great.”

Kenny paused and just breathed heavily into the phone, attempting to regather the courage that had been shattered by Kota’s father picking up the phone. He shut his eyes and leaned forward, curling in on himself.

Thinking back to how he had drawn strength to finally make the call, he imagined Kota’s hand curling around his the way it did after they won a match together and finally plowed forward, “I didn’t like what Dino said earlier today about us being over.”

“He was just being Dino, it wasn’t real.”

“Yeah, but I still didn’t like saying it.

“Okay. Kenny…” as Kota took an audible deep breath, Kenny could hear Kota’s father calling to him, “I’ve gotta go. My father’s worried about losing the reservation.”

“Sure, of course,” Kenny said quickly.

“Okay, talk to you later.”

Kota took a few seconds before hanging up the phone, and Kenny just waited to hear the click of the receiver, before he too put down the phone. He threw himself face first into his bed and let out a muffled scream of frustration.

Kenny had never had difficulty asking people out before. From a young age, he just wasn’t that scared of rejection when it came to certain things—both coming out to people and asking people on dates seemed to come naturally to him. He figured that a lot of that had to do with his family always rolling with whatever he threw their way; he knew from many queer friends that being told there’s something wrong with you shapes the way you perceive yourself. Though maybe Kenny was just never afraid to be himself and it didn’t have to do with how people received that. He was comfortable with embarrassment too, which made him a particularly good fit for DDT.

He had been eight when he first came out. Kenny had been sitting on the couch, next to his sister, watching Aladdin (he had been begging for the VHS since it was released in theaters, and his parents had obliged him as soon as it was available). It was probably somewhere around the fiftieth time he was watching the movie, and he could probably recite the movie by memory at that point. His long-suffering older sister, Kristen, was a good sport; she sat on the other side of the couch flipping through the newest issue of Seventeen while their parents were out for dinner.

“Ooh, there’s a which Disney prince is your future husband quiz in this issue,” she said, snapping Kenny out of his trance-like state as he watched the movie.

“I’m gonna marry Aladdin,” he said, barely thinking about it.

His sister paused before saying, “Okay,” in an assured tone.

“And then we’re both gonna marry Jasmine.”

She let out a laugh, “Alright kiddo, you do that.”

And that was that. He hadn’t logged that as an important or notable event at the time, but that was just the first in a long string of Kenny just sharing who he is, without really getting that that might be difficult for others. As an adult, he didn’t really think of himself as particularly brave or fearless, he felt like he just got lucky by having his family’s response always being so accepting and nonchalant and the fact that he figured that out at such a young age.

As he got older, his sister had always encouraged him to just tell people about his feelings, so as a young kid he learned that rejection wasn’t the end of the world or even that terribly humiliating. Also, he learned that embarrassment just wasn’t that unbearable; it’s temporary and can be turned into a joke. He always liked amusing other people. Regardless, by putting himself out there and asking people out he either got to go on a date, or they politely let him down and they moved on with their friendship or acquaintanceship. This was why he was particularly confused about why he was so off-kilter and nervous about asking Kota out.

After collecting himself following the phone call, he decided to try to distract himself from the feeling of failure and embarrassment with his Gameboy advance. He managed to get engrossed enough in his Pokémon game that he was startled by the shrill ring of the phone roughly two hours after he had called Kota. He reached over to the nightstand, picked the phone up, and said hello.

“Hi Kenny,” Kota responded.

Kenny’s heart swelled with hope.

“Sorry I cut you off earlier, I just thought I’d check to make sure that you got to finish what you were saying…um,” Kota seemed to falter a bit, “Were you in the middle of something though?”

Kenny gave a little laugh, “No, unless you count playing Pokémon as being in the middle of something.”

“Well, that’s very important,” Kenny could imagine the teasing expression on Kota’s face.

They both fell silent for a few beats, just breathing loudly into the phone. Kenny wasn’t sure how aware Kota was of what was happening, but Kenny felt like Kota was deliberately presenting him with a challenge. Now Kenny needed to figure out whether the anxiety over the extended period of silence across the phone or his nerves about telling Kota how he felt would win out. Kenny felt like Kota was taking a move out of a teacher’s playbook—waiting for a student to crack from the awkward silence despite being nervous about answering the question.

Kenny recalled spending dinners at restaurants with his new friends, how easily he fell into his own little world with Kota, despite being surrounded by other friends. They’d order their own meals and then basically end up sharing each of them just with each other, and one of them would lean over to whisper to the other while someone else was telling a story to the group. It might be rude to the rest of their friends, but it also felt special to Kenny, as if Kota was giving a part of himself to Kenny that he wasn’t willing to share with the rest of the world. Kenny wanted to reciprocate that and give him so much more.

Kenny hated the idea of Kota misinterpreting Kenny’s response to Dino’s teasing, as if he didn’t value the connection they shared. He didn’t want Kota to think that he believed that queer expression of physical intimacy was only legitimate as long as it was a joke. And the way Kenny felt about Kota didn’t feel like a joke. He decided it was time to be brave.

“I really like you,” Kenny whispered into the phone, his voice coming out softer and breathier than he intended.

“Oh,” Kota responded slowly, “I like you too.”

“I mean really like you,” Kenny clarified.

“I really like you too,” Kota parroted back.

Kenny felt a tentative spark of hope in his chest, “Kota…does this mean we’re dating?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t heard an invitation to go out with you yet.”

Kenny barked out a laugh, that cheeky asshole; a soft affection for the man on the other end of the line swelled up within him.

“Kota Ibushi, will you go out with me?”

“Yes.”

Kenny lost himself in the moment and caught himself fist pumping in victory, as if he had been watching a hockey game and victoriously witnessed the puck glide into the opponent’s net through the goalie’s legs. He giggled at himself slightly embarrassed by his bro-ish reaction, and then in happiness, reveling in the fact that him and Kota were now dating.

“Great!” he said, “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”


End file.
